A Bereaved Parent's Wishlist

This poem fully explains many feelings I have been having lately, so I thought I would share.


I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had him back.
I wish you wouldn't be be afraid to speak my child's name. My child LIVED and was very important to me. I need to ear that he was important to you.
If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears.
You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing his artwork, or other rememberances from your home.
Being a bereaved parent is NOT contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.
I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but, I also want you to hear about me.
I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.
I know you think of and pray for me often. I know that my child's death pains you, too.
I wish you would let me know those things througha phone call, a card, a note, or a real big hug.
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over ina short period of time. I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over.
I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. Grief is a life long process.
I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover.I will always miss my child, and I will always grieve that he is dead.
I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy".
Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.
I don't want to have a "pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.
I wish you would understand how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable to be around me when I am feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.
When I say "I'm doing okay" I wish you would understand that I don't "feel" okay and I struggle daily.
I wish you knew that all the grief reations I'm having are very normal.
Depression, anger, hopelessness and OVERWHELMING SADNESS are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
Your advice to me "take one day at a time" is excelleant advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you would understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend alone
I wish you would understand that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I will never be that person again.
I wish very much that you could understand my loss and grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain.
But........I pray daily that you will NEVER understand.

I dont know who tha author is, but I love this poem!!!!!